4 Game-Changing Stress Relief Tips You Didn’t Know You Needed To Know
Stress is an unavoidable part of life, but that doesn't mean we have to let it control us.
In our quest for peace of mind, we often overlook some of the most effective stress-relief strategies.
This blog post will explore four game-changing tips that you might not have considered before. These aren't your typical "take a deep breath" or "do some yoga" suggestions. Instead, we'll look at some unconventional wisdom that could revolutionize the way you handle stress.
From learning to let go of things beyond our control to embracing our own mortality, these tips might seem counterintuitive at first. But stick with us – you'll soon discover why these approaches can be so powerful in reducing stress and improving your overall well-being.
So, let's challenge some common assumptions and explore these four stress-relief tips you didn't know you needed to know.
Stressing about what’s out of your control
Elections, weather, and the sun going down at 4 pm. We can’t control any of these things, so we might as well not stress over them so much either.
This mental shift can be challenging, but it's incredibly liberating. Instead of expending energy on things we can't change, we can redirect that energy towards actions and decisions that are within our control. This not only reduces stress but also increases our sense of personal empowerment and effectiveness.
While these things may have an impact on us and our health, we can’t directly impact them. So focus on what you can actually control: how you vote, the clothing you wear to bundle up against the weather, getting in the sun when you can and using lights therapy lamps can also help combat the effects of shorter days. Remember, while these external factors may influence our mood and energy levels, we have the power to adapt and create positive routines that support our well-being.
Avoiding an important conversation or decision
Making tough decisions and having healthy, mature conversations are tough. That's why therapy is gaining so much recognition for its usefulness. But even without professional help, we can take small steps to address these challenges. Start by identifying one conversation or decision you've been avoiding and commit to taking a single, concrete action towards it this week.
Worrying about other people’s opinions
FOPO, or Fear of Other People's Opinions, is a significant source of stress and anxiety in our lives. It's a psychological phenomenon that can deeply impact our mental well-being and performance. When we experience FOPO, we become preoccupied with what others think of us, often at the expense of our own thoughts and feelings.
FOPO causes stress and anxiety by:
Exhausting our mental resources through constant worry about others' perceptions
Hindering our ability to make decisions based on our own values and judgments
Creating a performance-based identity, where our self-worth becomes tied to how well we perform in the eyes of others
To combat FOPO and reduce the associated stress and anxiety, we can:
Develop a strong sense of self, which Dr. Gervais describes as "the single greatest bulwark against FOPO"
Practice turning inward when FOPO springs up, responding based on our own internal standards rather than perceived external judgments
Recognize our inherent worth, understanding that we are valuable regardless of our performance or others' opinions
Use journaling to explore our reactions and thoughts, helping us understand what we're defending or embracing
Thinking Your Finitude Is a Problem
Oliver Burkeman has become one of my favourite authors over the past couple of years with his massive bestseller Four Thousand Weeks and his new release, Meditations for Mortals. His concept of what he calls finitude is basically the Stoic Memento Mori - remember that you are going to die. While it sound grim, the lessons in Burkeman’s books do much to assuage this fear and the stress surrounding our mortality.
The point that stands out to me is that if we had all the time in the world to do everything, nothing would mean anything. It’s this finitude, the forcing function of time that makes everything in our lives mean something.
Contemplating this is valuable for confronting this stressor.
To recap:
4 Sources of Stress To Stop Giving a F*ck About
Stop stressing about what’s out of your control
Stop avoiding important conversations or decisions
Stop worrying about other people’s opinions
Stop thinking your finitude is a problem.
Take These Next Steps:
Think about one thing that’s stressing you out that you know if out of your control. Write it down, then write down what you can actually control about this situation.
What’s one decision or conversation that you’ve been putting off? Write down the next step you can take. Is there a meeting you need to schedule? What can you spend five minutes doing to prepare?
Exploring The Secrets of Centenarians: How to Live to 100 and Beyond
Longevity used to be something we didn't really think or talk much about. People lived as long as they were destined to. Genetics and luck were often credited or blamed for the duration and quality of one's life.
But today, we understand that there are ways to promote longevity that aren't as far-fetched as cryogenically freezing ourselves, hoping for a magical elixir upon awakening.
In the Netflix documentary series "How To Live To 100," we explore these 'Blue Zones'—regions around the world where a significantly higher percentage of people live to be centenarians. While many Blue Zones are found in tranquil and natural landscapes, such as the islands of the Mediterranean, others exist in densely populated cities.
So, Blue Zones encompass more than just our environment. Let's delve into the patterns we can adopt to live longer and with vitality.
Balance - Physical and Holistic
Balance isn't just about moderation and finding the middle path in life's choices. It also pertains to our physical stability. Health span, the quality of life you lead during those years, is as crucial as lifespan. No one desires to reach 100 if they spend their last decades bedridden.
A significant predictor of longevity and health span is balance. While falls in youth might be minor inconveniences, they can lead to severe health complications in older age. In Blue Zones, physical balance is integral to daily life—whether it's squatting to garden in Okinawa or riding horses to enjoy nature.
Move Naturally
Movement typically declines as we age. However, the active lifestyles of centenarians suggest the importance of consistent movement. Many Blue Zones are situated in areas conducive to walking or cycling, and residents often engage in communal activities like dancing or gardening.
Choosing a living environment that encourages natural movement can be beneficial. An ideal location should foster community activity, reducing health stressors and promoting well-being.
Eat Wisely
Michael Pollan aptly advises, "eat food, not too much. Mostly plants." Caloric restriction is common in Blue Zones, not due to intentional deprivation, but because of a preference for fresh, seasonal vegetables. With many people globally adopting diets rich in highly processed, high-calorie foods, the Blue Zones stand out with their nutrient-rich, balanced diets. They also incorporate complete proteins, ensuring muscle strength and overall health.
Connect
Social connections are a hallmark of Blue Zones. In our increasingly busy lives, we often sideline our social connections in favor of work, leading to a burgeoning loneliness epidemic. Social isolation not only affects mental health but also shortens lifespan.
Relationships and the impact we have on others will be the memories we cherish. Instead of focusing on materialistic pursuits, prioritize spending time with loved ones. Whether it's swimming around an island or joining a sports league, find ways to foster connections.
What's Your Outlook?
In Japan, there's a concept called 'Ikigai,' which translates to one's purpose or reason for living. Having a purpose, especially post-retirement, can be pivotal. Engaging in light, meaningful work can lead to longer, happier lives. It's about dedicating time to what truly matters, often just a few hours in the morning, leaving the rest of the day for leisure and family.
In essence, the secrets of the Blue Zones aren't about a scientific fountain of youth. They emphasize natural movement, nutrition, community connections, and a purposeful mental outlook.
So, what steps will you take to embrace the lessons from the Blue Zones in your life?
What Would Life Be Like If You Were Unstressable?
Every day when we wake up, whether we are ready to or not, the world is going to challenge us in unexpected ways.
The school calls because your kid is skipping class.
Your partner isn’t making a change to help out more and you’ve had enough of it.
Your boss wants you to complete a report on a subject you know nothing about. And expects it done YESTERDAY.
We don’t have to dig very deep in the memory banks to think about pandemics and global instability shuttering our doors and keeping everyone closed away and isolated.
A cold sweat forms just thinking about it. We’ve been put through the wringer these last couple of years when tensions were already high enough.
There’s another way through for us though.
Imagine waking up tomorrow feeling UNSTRESSABLE.
This chaos isn’t going anywhere. That’s a fact of life.
But you are in the driver’s seat of how stress affects you.
And if you don’t feel that way yet, you are about to.
Becoming Unstressable is your path to freedom from stress ruling over your life.
It’s a program based on you leading the way because everyone has a different stress story to tell.
Over the next 6 weeks, we will be exploring stress management and recovery that is aligned with suiting your needs and unique stressors specifically.
We all recognize the feeling of dread when something is wrong, the pit in our stomach when life just becomes too stressful and all we want to do is hide under the blankets and never get out of bed.
But the first step forward begins with your desire to change. And as the realization has awakened within you, you can take action to put together a plan that will completely re-wire your experience of stress.
Together we will be exploring the many ways that stress pops up in your life and learning how to manage these different stressors more effectively.
You will take the ideas about your starting point and explore where you want to get to and what your Unstressable life looks like.
And through the work we do in the course and the plan you build along the way, you will have a roadmap by the end of the 6 weeks for how to work through anything that stands in your way and threatens to leave you feeling overwhelmed and burnt out. For Life.
Ready to take that first step?
Click the button to learn more about Unstressable today.
How To Do An Annual Review
As the last few days of the year trickle into view, it’s a time when we naturally think about what has gone on in the past year and review the time that we have spent. Has it been used wisely or are there things you wish you'd done differently?
Why Do A Year-End Review?
We are all driven by a sense of progress. If you’re anything like me, the end of the year becomes a time when you get the urge to reflect back on the year that has passed and look towards what the future holds in the New Year. Sure, we can just as readily set new goals on December 1 as we can on January 1, but this crossing of the threshold as we start a new year holds archetypal significance for us and the journey we follow throughout our life.
To make sense of the bigger picture of our life story, we need to delineate chapters which is why the year-end review can help with this process.
What gets included in a year-end review is up to you based on your priorities. But if you're trying to get started with doing an annual review for the first time or find something better that works for you, here are some recommended starting points that I find most useful.
Deep Health Review
While there are many ways to evaluate our life, one of the most impactful to me is to look through the deep health lens to get a clear picture of what our overall health and the different aspects looked like and how they have changed in the past year.
Because our health is multi-faceted, it really makes a difference to look at a deep health framework to understand what is going well in your life and what needs more work and focus to get back on track.
Doing your Deep Health review with the Deep Heath Questionnaire doesn’t just have to be done once per year. It’s also helpful to use whenever you face changes or set new goals during the year.
Complete a deep health questionnaire and compare it to past scores. Click this link to download a copy.
What Areas Make Up Your Life?
If you listen to any self-help guru out there, they will have their own framework for the different dimensions of your life. Like the Deep Health complete picture, these are the slices of the pie of life that we consider when evaluating the current moment of our life and the time frame we have been through.
Some systems will give you 10 sections, others 6, or maybe as little as 4. However you want to evaluate your experiences, I think somewhere between 6-8 is ideal so that you can get a full picture of things like work satisfaction, relationships, finances, and experiences, as well as deep health components like spiritual health and mental health.
Consider where you're currently at with these slices of your life. Looking at where you’ve come from over the past year will help you to appreciate the progress that you have made.
Review Your Calendar and Notes
If you don’t keep track of at least some of the ways you spend your time in your calendar or note-taking in a journal, now is a good time to start.
By having the thoughts and experiences of your life captured in the moment, you are keeping a much more permanent record of the stories you are creating. Anytime I feel like I haven’t had enough fun experiences or accomplished enough for myself, I scroll back through my calendar and the notes I’ve captured and can see more clearly the progress there. And so it helps you to look back through all these moments to get that overview of your year as you review it.
What were the highlight moments or experiences?
What were some of the best things you accomplished?
What challenges did you face?
All of these questions that you can review when looking back through your notes will help you to hold yourself accountable when you think about what the next year looks like for you.
More things to take note of as you review your notes from each month this year:
What new places did you visit?
Who did you meet and what relationships did you build?
What new skills did you acquire?
Books You’ve Read
Another category I use when reviewing my year is to see what books I read. I used to do this out of competitiveness to see how many books I read which is why I stopped using GoodReads as consistently to track books. But GoodReads makes it so simple to rate and record any books I've read and gives me a glance at the timeline in books for the year.
Books are an important category to review because along with any notes you’ve taken in journals or just what you’ve written down as lessons you’ve learned through the years, books tell you more about what you were curious about and wanted to learn in the past year. This is particularly true if you do read non-fiction and are trying to learn and acquire new skills with the books you choose to read.
Progress For What Comes Next.
No matter what you review and how you evaluate your annual review, it’s important to look at each year as a stepping stone and progress forward toward bigger goals. We will always encounter obstacles and setbacks along the way.
So as you take the time to close out the year this weekend, look back on what has happened for you in the last twelve months so that you can better prepare for where your journey takes you next.
The Power of Success
“Did you know that Tony Robbins burns 11,000 calories a day when on stage?”
It’s hard to imagine, so I knew I had to see this kind of performance for myself.
Bob told me that if I ever get the chance to see Tony Robbins live, it’s well worth the cost of admission.
Last week I had the chance to make this long-term goal a reality as Tony Robbins was the keynote speaker at the Power of Success seminar in Toronto. If you’re at all familiar with Tony, his stage presence is exactly what you have seen, whether from a seminar clip online or the Netflix documentary I Am Not Your Guru.
I had a great experience and felt energized for the entirety of the 14-hour day and some of the most valuable lessons that I learned from Tony are the topic of this week’s FlowCast.
Give it a listen, there are many great lessons to learn from it around the topic of success and peak performance.
The Human Will Is Incredible
Sometimes social media gets us stuck in a loop of feeling that our lives are not as exciting or interesting as the lives of the people we are connected to but if you look closer, you will find inspiration in those posts, tweets, and TikToks.
I saw an example of a friend who had made an incredible change from a bleak situation into a hopeful future recently and it got me thinking…
There's a lot of darkness in the world today and if you wanted to it wouldn't be very hard to dwell in a cloud of misery.
What we sometimes forget though is that the human will is incredible and has endured the most horrific events throughout history. Man's Search For Meaning by Viktor Frankl is the classic example of how even when there's nothing else left, the human spirit and will never be stolen away from you.
Positivity and optimism lie at the root of all the historical examples of incredible human will. Limiting beliefs are bound to cast you downwards in a spiral of despair.
If you're going through a hard time or stuck in some way, draw inspiration from the world around you and keep moving forward. Making the shift with limiting beliefs is not easy but just like putting in the reps in the gym to build bigger biceps, putting in the repetitions with positive messages will build that new belief system in your brain.
Don’t compare yourself to others and see it as a reason for feeling down on yourself, get inspired and build on the positivity around you to live even brighter.
Use This Morning Routine For Stress-Free Living
All I have is good days.
As I spring out of bed ready to tackle the day and all of the challenges in front of me, I think back to when it wasn’t like this - when the mortal coils of the daily grind seemed to close a little bit tighter around me day after day.
With the right morning practices in place you can inoculate yourself against a lot of the mundanity of daily life and start to find more joy in living mindfully and paying attention to the little things that matter.
Fortunately, I am a morning person and so I do understand that the feeling of a great morning is going to be different for some people. If you gravitate towards the night, then just being able to roll out of bed before 9 may be a victory for you if you’ve owned the previous night and gotten the most out of that quiet time.
Regardless of your disposition towards mornings or nights, we do live in a society that tends to require you to prepare yourself well for the mornings before distractions and stress start to creep in from every direction. If you feel yourself stressing out almost as if the cortisol were oozing out of your adrenals by just thinking about the daily grind, try taking action towards these following tips for starting your morning with a routine that can combat your stress all day.
First Thing’s First:
Keep your phone off. If you really want to start the day off right and without your cortisol levels spiking from a cascade of notifications, keep your phone powered off or at least on airplane mode as you go about starting your day.
Practice Gratitude
One of the simplest ways that you can improve your morning routine is by practicing gratitude. If you are also going to start journaling your thoughts (see below) it can benefit your to write down the things you are grateful for, or you may just want to think about and meditate on them. I find it more powerful to write the things I am grateful for down, an important practice that I will talk about more in the next tip on affirmations.
Tony Robbins talks about including a morning gratitude practice as part of his 10-minute routine to prime his body and mind for a great day. Robbins’ gratitude practice includes thinking about 3 things he is grateful for and spending about a minute on each one. When coming up with 3 things to be grateful for, he recommends that you include one that is a small, simple thing in the present moment to be grateful for.
This simple object of your gratitude could be the cool glass of water you’re drinking or the sun creeping over the horizon.
Whatever it may be, feel grateful for something in the present moment - this ties into living mindfully.
If you want to read more about Tony Robbins’ morning practice read this: https://www.businessinsider.com/tony-robbins-morning-priming-exercise-2017-7
Start Your Day with Intention - Affirmation
In addition to being grateful for 3 things and taking a moment to truly feel that gratitude, write down your intention either for this day in particular or for this overarching chapter of your life.
If you’re seeking a new job, write down that you will ace the interview:
“I will have a great interview today” or “I am the type of person who shows confidence at interviews."
If you’re trying to lose weight, you may write that your goal will be to lose 10 pounds, but also be specific in what steps you are taking on a daily basis to get there:
“I am the type of person who goes to the gym daily” or “I will not eat carbs before dinner.”
These “I am” or “I will” type of statements are more powerful than simply stating what you want because they tap into your subconscious and start the process of you actually identifying with the statement.
In Grounded in Gratitude, Josh Bryant talks about how writing down these intentions or affirmations is also very important.
By actually writing it down, the information is able to be shared by both the left brain and the right brain and so you can more powerfully work on making your goal a reality by synergistically combining the power of your whole brain.
The other benefit of writing your intention down is that by allowing your subconscious to start identifying with the statement, you will be primed to pick out more opportunities to act upon that goal in your everyday life.
Sound too good to be true?
Try it out and fully embody that intention and let me know how it goes.
Journal
Create a short, daily journaling practice to harness these affirmations and things you are grateful for. Tim Ferriss often talks about using a morning journalling routine to get the thoughts bouncing around in his monkey mind trapped on paper so that he can focus on what’s most important for that day.
I like to structure my daily journalling practice around the "Five Minute Journal" concept and then if there are thoughts in my head I need to structure better on paper I’ll write those down after I’ve completed the 3 steps.
The morning component of the 5-minute journal that I’ve adapted looks like this:
1. List three things you are grateful for:
2. List three things you must accomplish today (this is your Power List)
3. State your intention or affirmation for the day, or for this chapter of your life.
Move
Even if it’s just 3-5 minutes, move around and get your blood pumping as soon after you wake as you can. Do a brief yoga and stretching routine or chase your dog around the yard, as Aubrey Marcus suggests in Own The Day, Own Your Life. Moving, combined with the next tip, is more powerful than a shot of espresso to get you kicked into high gear and ready to start the day on a positive.
Cold
I saved this tip for last because it requires the most discipline to implement but is also the one that can have the most powerful effect.
"The Iceman” Wim Hof has popularized cold exposure on his quest to educate people on how powerful the cold and just breathing better can impact your quality of life and your health. Brief cold exposure in the morning fires up your nervous system and releases norepinephrine which will boost your mood and leave you feeling invigorated. Chronic stress exposure can wear down your immune system and leave you constantly battling illness. Research has now validated that the jolt to your body from brief cold exposure has a powerful effect on combatting chronic stress and will reduce your susceptibility to getting sick.
Tony Robbins also includes a cold plunge into his morning practice and has plunge pools installed at his homes to be able to do this daily.
That quick burst of firing your nervous system up in the morning leaves you feeling great and is one of the reasons that we built the contrast therapy room at Flow Spa. In this room, we have a hot tub along with a cold tub set to 5ºC. We will definitely be running the morning Wim Hof club for all of the morning warriors wanting to kickstart their hearts with a cold plunge.
There are a lot of different things that you can start to implement for having a better day and eliminating stress from your life. If you’re already stressed out it may seem like too many things to juggle at once, so instead of trying to add in everything at once, just pick the one idea that’s easiest for you to implement right away and start with that. Overtime as you start to feel the beneficial effect of the routine you can add in more steps to the harness the full power of a morning routine.