Looking on the Bright Side - How To Train Yourself To Become More Optimistic

The year 2020 has not been an easy one for the naturally optimistic and that much harder if you’re trying to become more optimistic but tend to see the world from a negative perspective.

The best of the best, those performers we call world-class, are universally a class that believes that things will work out in the end. And this holds true despite the doomsday prophesies, quarantines, and political outrages.

The good news is that the trait of optimism is trainable if this isn’t normally how your mindset operates.

Here are a few of the best ways that you can start to shift towards becoming more optimistic or further harness this characteristic if it’s already a part of your personality.

Begin With The Idea In Mind

Optimism happens naturally for some of us, you know them as the glass is half full folk. But to begin looking for the silver lining when it’s something that’s new to you starts with the idea in mind. For this entire process of shifting your mindset into a more optimistic state, I would strongly encourage you to keep a notebook or journal. The first practice is to set your intention to become more optimistic.

If this is a completely new concept or feels strange to you, it’s ok. Nobody has to ever see what you’ve written down.

Keep it secret, keep it safe.

The question that you are trying to answer for yourself with intention setting is:

• “Why do you want to become more optimistic?”

On this first page or in this first section that you are writing down your intention setting you also want to write an affirmation statement something like: “I am the type of person who is optimistic” or “I am optimistic” or “I am becoming more optimistic.” Or an even more descriptive statement if optimism doesn’t mean much to you yet is to state “I want to be the best version of myself.”

These statements always feel weird at first when you write them down but when we physically write down affirmations like this we are activating and priming regions in both hemispheres of our brain that will seek out opportunities in our environment to confirm this statement.

It’s the same as if I were to tell you not to think about a white bear. What are you thinking about now?

Or if you’re expecting an exciting delivery from FedEx, you’ll notice more FedEx trucks on the road.

The science of priming is a fascinating way to tap into the power of your subconscious mind to have it help you work away in the background even while you’re consciously engaged in other tasks. Don’t underestimate it if you’re looking to make positive changes in your life.

Training Optimism Every Day

Now that you’ve set the intention that you will become more optimistic, you need to train the brain to pick out the positive things each and every day.

Set aside about 5 minutes in the morning and/or at night for this practice. Put it in your calendar as a recurring appointment if it helps you stick to it because for a lot of us, what doesn’t get scheduled doesn’t get done.

Every day you want to write down three things that went well. We want to train optimism in the present moment but if you are having a particularly rough day, you can also draw on gratitude from past experiences that were highlights of your life or look forward to what’s coming up next in your life or future goals that you’re excited about.

If you’re doing this in the morning, reflect on the previous day and the three things that went well or if the end of the day works for you, look back on three things that went well during your day before going to sleep. You can simply think about these things but writing them down is an even more powerful practise and can have compounding effects when you start to look back on each day if you do have a difficult day. It becomes a little well of positive emotions that you can tap into whenever you need a pick-me-up.

Do this practice for at least 30 days. What you’ll start to find is that with consistency you’ll being to feel really good about your days quickly and you aren’t going to want to stop the practice once you build up momentum. As with any good habit, the goal isn’t to get to some arbitrary number of days and then just let it go cold turkey, it’s about learning to integrate it into your lifestyle for lasting changes.

Turning Tragedy Into Triumph

Everyone faces tragedy but what we know is that optimistic people seek out ways to turn that tragedy into triumph. It’s not about saying that everything is always going to work out perfectly as much as it’s about recognizing what’s in your control and what is not and working on staying focused on what you can control when bad things do happen to you.

We often get caught up in what’s going on around us and those external forces that we have no control over. It’s understandable because often the circumstances are overwhelming but when working from an optimistic mindset you want to direct most of your focus on the four forces that are under your control:

• Thoughts

• Attitudes

• Actions

• Efforts

Even when we have been physically restrained and lost that freedom as Victor Frankl experienced in the concentration camps, later described in his book Man’sSearch For Meaning, we still have the freedoms of our thoughts and attitudes. Those forces are always within us and even if your physical actions are withheld, you can still maintain your efforts despite restrictions.

It’s true that bad things happen to good people and it really do be like that sometimes.

But part of the optimistic way of looking at your life is that you don’t dwell on the past but instead learn and grow from the experience and find meaning.

It’s not about being naive in your optimism, as we saw from Frankl’s experience, those individuals in the camps that expected to be freed by an arbitrary date were the ones who ended up giving up hope and expiring when those days continued to pass by without any sign of freedom on the horizon.

And know that you don’t have to deal with things alone. When things do seem too hard to get through, reach out to the people you care about the most for support and turn to the mentors that can give you more perspective on the situation. There are also professionals that can help through hot-lines and even remote counselling services.

When COVID-19 locked everything down for us earlier this year, I re-read Man’s Search For Meaning to get some perspective on how much freedom we all still had despite many of us feeling cooped up.

Another great book to turn to during hard times is Ryan Holiday’s bestseller The Obstacle is the Way. This book can provide helpful insights into the Stoic way to see The opportunity in the obstacle and get a new perspective on your experiences through practicing objectivity.

Just like the coach on the sideline, taking a step back is often what we need to do in order to see the bigger picture when our lives become a whirlwind of emotion.

At first glance, optimism seems like it has to be something that was served on a silver platter to those most fortunate in the world but in reality, it is a trainable set of skills that do not discriminate on your circumstances. Start by setting your intention to become a more optimistic person or wanting the best from your life. Then reflect each day on three great things or experiences you had. When times seem too difficult to do this, turn back to the highlight reel from past times and look ahead to what’s next in your life. And remember that even good people face tragedy and it’s how we focus on what’s under our control and learn and grow from the experience that determines whether we’ll sink into despair or come out on top of it.