What’s the Right Amount of Pressure for Massage?
You’re on the massage table, eyes closed, ready to relax. But instead of melting into the moment, you’re tensing with every stroke. Sound familiar?
For many people, one of the biggest questions about massage is:
How much pressure is too much?
Or even, does it need to hurt to work?
Let’s clear things up, because when it comes to massage, the “right” pressure isn’t about being tough.
It’s about what helps your body feel safe, supported, and ready to heal.
The Myth of “No Pain, No Gain”
There’s a common belief, especially with deep tissue massage, that more pressure equals better results. If you’re not wincing, it’s not working. No pain, no gain, right?
Actually, no.
While firm pressure can be helpful in some cases, research and experience at Flow Spa tell us that pain doesn’t equal progress. When pressure goes beyond your comfort zone, it can do the opposite of what we want.
Instead of relaxing into the massage, your body may activate its sympathetic nervous system - the fight-or-flight mode that causes muscles to tighten and stress hormones to spike.
But massage works best for relaxation and recovery when your parasympathetic nervous system is engaged. That’s the state where true healing happens.
When Pressure Goes Too Far
Here are a few signs that the pressure might be too intense for you:
You find yourself holding your breath
Your muscles tense up instead of releasing
You’re gritting your teeth and waiting for it to be over
You feel very sore or bruised the next day (especially if it wasn’t the goal). Your RMT will communicate with you if any bruising or soreness is expected, particularly with deeper pressure or methods like cupping.
A good massage should never feel like a test of endurance. You’re not there to “push through.” You’re there to let go.
What the Right Pressure Actually Feels Like
The tricky part is there’s no one-size-fits-all.
Some people love deeper pressure. Others benefit more from gentle, rhythmic strokes. And your ideal pressure can even change from session to session based on your stress level, hydration, sleep, or pain.
So how do you know when it’s just right?
The sweet spot is often described as “hurts so good.” It might feel intense in the moment, but not painful. You stay relaxed. You keep breathing. You feel your body releasing, not resisting.
If you’re clenching or bracing, that’s a clear sign the pressure needs to come down a notch.
How to Talk to Your Massage Therapist About Pressure
Here’s your permission slip: it’s always okay to speak up.
In fact, we encourage it.
You can say:
“That’s a bit too much for me.”
“Can you ease up just slightly?”
“That’s a good spot, but maybe a little lighter?”
Or simply, “Could we check in on pressure?”
At Flow Spa, our Registered Massage Therapists are trained to check in during your treatment, but we love it when clients feel empowered to guide the session, too. Your body knows best.
Pro tip: using a 1–10 scale can help. Something like a 6 or 7 out of 10 is usually a good balance of effective and comfortable.
Match the Pressure to Your Goals
Different types of massage, and your goals with treatment, often call for different approaches:
If you’re here for stress relief:
Lighter to moderate pressure is ideal. It helps calm the nervous system and ease tension without overwhelming the senses.
If you’re recovering from workouts:
Moderate to firm pressure can help with circulation and muscle recovery, but it should still feel manageable and not forceful.
If you’re dealing with injury or chronic pain:
This requires a more customized approach. Sometimes gentle work is most effective. Other times, focused deep tissue techniques can help. Our RMTs will work with you to find the right balance.
Bottom Line: Your Comfort Comes First
Massage should never feel like something to suffer through. The best results happen when your body feels safe, supported, and able to relax, not when it’s bracing against discomfort.
At Flow Spa, we don’t believe in pushing past your limits. We believe in working with your body, not against it.
So whether you love deep pressure or prefer a lighter touch, we’re here to meet you exactly where you are.
Ready to Find Your Perfect Pressure?
Book a massage at Flow Spa and let one of our experienced RMTs tailor the treatment to what your body truly needs.
We’ll talk about your preferences, check in during your session, and adjust in real time.
Because you deserve a massage that feels just right!